Now that Calm Before the Storm, the news post that grows longer every week and makes up for there being no news before the weekly update on the LucasArts
site, is in it's fourth week, it's probably about time we made it feel welcome into the community. How? By doing what we do best: Giving it an Acronym. CBTS or CBS (for short) is looking increasingly unnecessary, if today follows suit with yesterday and ends up with some actual news. However, there are always online story, picture, video and music wrongs to post about that get the party jumping! And, with 4 weeks of CBS behind us, it must be time to break out the punch and disco lights.
You can use the following CBS tactics at any party.<:MORENEWS:>First:1. Giving the eye.This site
will teach you how to "give the eye" to people. *Note* Mojo does not recommend giving this
type of eye to anyone with flirting potential, unless they are some kind of vegetable. 2. Look like you are fun.
"You know, the other day I saw this fantastic thing..." This is a common phrase, use it well and use it wisely. Use it and then reference something like this: An MP3 player built into the Ammo casing of an AK47
. Do not use it in reference to this
news story, because anything like that will get you a strange look followed by an, "Oh is that the time?" remark.3. Look like you are down with the latest news.
"Did you know?..." Most people, you will find, do not know. This will make you look clever, so remember to use stories with facts in them. This news story
says that a large percentage of young Americans cannot point out Iraq on a map. Tsk :) *Remember* In order too look clever you have to actually be able to point out Iraq on a map.4. Inevitably make a fool of yourself or make a remark that makes you look like a ****.
You could mention Alfred Lavers, 48, who argued unsuccessfully that he should not receive the death penalty for slowly and torturously stabbing his wife and stepdaughter to death. Lavers argued that the law discriminates against poor people who cannot afford expensive guns in order to commit murder and therefore must rely on crude weapons that kill slowly. And then agree profusely with his argument. At this point you may notice that the people you are speaking to are staring at you with their mouths gaping.5. Distraction.
Use distraction in times of need. This time I will distract you with Pee mail
, an e-card that you can design yourself and send to someone. That link features a fine peeing
eCard, designed by our resident writer (Yes we have one... no he hasn't written anything lately but... SHUT UP HE IS OUR WRITER!
) Lemonhead. And finally, once you have them distracted, you can... 6. Make your getaway.
Of course, if you don't make a fool of yourself like in step 4, then you might not need to make a getaway. Yoda is one man who would of course never ever be able to make a fool of himself, and here
he demonstrates not making a getaway.
Instead of making a getaway, I?m going to leave this space for inevitable updates and actual Lucas related funtimes. Look, here's one now: a SW comic based rantage
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