The International House of Mojo

Bummed because LucasArts has nixed sequels? Don't be; there's plenty of good stuff on the horizon as the previous news post suggested. Psychonauts and two adventure games is the tip of the iceberg, but start thinking even further ahead. Like, what will Double Fine do next? How about Ron Gilbert? And what is this site all about?!

We don't know, but stay tuned for more.

Huh...

• Psychonauts nearly gold, on its way to stores in a couple months...
• Telltale games exists, has actually released a game (a clever self promoting game at that)...
• Vampyre Story continues to slowly progress with screenshots and other tidbits...
• Four webcomics drawn by Double Fine and Telltale artists...
• Many secrets on the horizon...

It's odd to have things to write about. It's surprising. It also probably means that the server is going to go down for about two years.

This is a title This is a subhead This is some text of dubious character. Isn?t the use of ?quotes? just lazy writing?and theft of ?intellectual property? besides? I think the time has come to see a block quote.

This is a block quote. I?ll admit it?s not the most exciting block quote ever devised. Simple list: 1. one 2. two 3. three. Multi-level list: 1. one 1. aye 2. bee 3. see 2. two 1. x 2. y 3. three. Mixed list: * Point one * Point two 1. Step 1 2. Step 2 3. Step 3 * Point three o Sub point 1 o Sub point 2.

Well, that went well. How about we insert an old-fashioned hypertext link? Will the quote marks in the tags get messed up? No!

Something is definitely afoot.

You have found the hidden message.

Well, you finally did it. After years of not really being interested in your really crappy output, you finally convinced me of how shit you have become. You need to sort your act out, the only reason people buy your games is because they have Star Wars skins on them. You haven't made a good internal game in years.

Note to LEC Developers: I?m sorry you guys... If I was working there now, I?d seriously be worried - quit guys, quit. There is no future for you. Go work for Factor 5, Bioware, Planetmoon or Totally games as they seem to be doing your jobs anyway and I wouldn?t be surprised if your positions become obsolete in the very near future, Am I Right? Of course I am. Surely you are bored to tears of the poor quality of your company resources and the terrible decisions made by internal departments that result in the public never being able to see your years of hard work.

Quit, unless of course you like making StarWars games, in which case stay, but please try and make some good ones...?

Yours Sincerely,
Spaff.

P.s Was Sam and max 2 cool? write and tell me about it!

Quick, hide all the bodies! People are begining to get suspicious about all the people who have left LucasArts and aren't around on Mojo any more and we dont want those pesky FED's poking their noses around this little operation we've got going.

Spaff.

Keep the noise down!!! I'm trying to sleep!!!!

Spaff.

What's with the mess?
I've lost the DJG, I left it just here a few months ago and now all I see is a big pile of hate mail and some post it notes. Try to keep it a bit cleaner yeah? And keep your eyes peeled for the DJG.

Spaff.

Posts on adventure game news sites have recently become oversaturated with obscure reference humor, pushing away all but the most hardcore reader. "This has gotten completely out of control,? said Marek Bronstring, webmaster of AdventureGamers.com, "Every time we tried to re-open, one of my writers would pull some piece of Kings Quest 2 dialogue from God knows where and I'd have no choice but to fire my whole staff and start over."

Another example: When asked about Rogue Leader?s paltry eight missions and no multiplayer, Mojo news reporter Andrew Langley cracked a smile and said "These LucasArts games keep getting shorter and shorter," referencing a line cut from Escape From Monkey Island.

"This stuff isn?t interesting at all," reader Devin Flannely told the Mojo, "I just want to find out when the new XBox game is coming out, I couldn?t care less about how DJG 'works like crazy' or how Sean Clark's latest efforts are 'Fractalus, at best.' Fucking indie shit."

The rumors have been flying for months, but StarWars.com finally confirmed them with an update posted just minutes ago. The long awaited title of the final chapter in the Star Wars saga? ?Episode III: Swordfish.? Wow. In a media coup certain to raise the eyebrows of generations to come, it seems George Lucas has licensed the universe from the lackluster John Travolta film Swordfish (WB, 2001) to conclude his prequel trilogy.

?I wanted to give the fans everything they thought was lacking from Episodes I and II, with a twist of something new and fresh? said an aging Lucas. ?If that means Hugh Jackman as a young Han Solo, ?Gabriel-Shear-The-Hutt,? and Halle Berry?s breasts, then so be it!?

Production on Star Wars Episode III: Swordfish, currently filming by the oil wells outside Modesto, California, is expected to wrap in Spring 2004.

To the amazement of all, LucasArts announced that production has begun on a fifth Monkey Island game! Titled (predictably) ?Return to Monkey Island," the game again follows the ?mischeivous" (sic) adventures of wannabe pirate Guybrush Threepwood. It?s coming out for XBox, PS2, and of course PC.

Update: It will surprise nobody that RMI was cancelled this afternoon, only eight hours after it was announced. LucasArts president Simon Jeffery was quoted as saying, ?We didn?t want to disappoint the fans again. So, Sean Clark is headed to each of your houses to personally kill you.?