Xbox Wire—apparently an official Xbox publication—coaxed Dave Grossman into writing what looks suspiciously like a Buzzfeed article: “Eight Things You Should Know Before Playing Return to Monkey Island.” And, if you, like me, had prepared to drop some hardcore anchor facts during your next cocktail party, well . . .
Also, in case you don’t forget them, I want to be sure you understand that the “facts” are made up. The character in question is not a deliberate liar, but she is a confident person who is not very good at doing research. Please do not use Return to Monkey Island as a factual source for your Wikipedia article about anchors. It’s probably best not to use the game as a factual source, period.
. . . I apparently have a lot of opinions I have to reconsider.