Look: I'm not saying that Mixnmojo, small website though it may be, is in any way important to the universe at large...
I am, however, saying that the world went a bit topsy-turvy around the time Mixnmojo stopped marking Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I'll be damned if in this logic-free dimension of reality correlation doesn't imply causation. With that in mind, I'll now attempt to save the world by pulling a quote, at random, from a beloved mighty pirate. Ahem:
I once had a barber named Dominique.