The International House of Mojo

An undercover exposé by Rem "Mr Manager" Ster, appended after the fact

In light of the preceding Mojo History article, many have asked themselves, "just who is this Gabez?" Little is known about the prolific writer, a man who appears every summer just to cuss out every man, woman, and child connected to Mojo.

Things weren't always like this though; Gabez was, believe it or not, once a valued member of the Mojo community himself. In fact, the first signs of Gabez on an Internet Relay Chat would show him to be a chipper, enthusiastic young man.

Yes, this was truly and really Gabez's first words on the fabled #monkey-island chat channel. It also shows that Jake is anal retentive, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway. Gabez, the inquisitive young lad, would often ask less than thought out questions back then. This was March 2001:

The fact that all of this happened in the same day should possibly have left us all with clues what the future would bring. This was, apparently, also the time Gabez came out of the closet. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

Yes, Gabez was a confused young man.

Things would "improve" for young Mr. Gabez however. He grew, he learned communicate, he developed a sense of sarcasm. Some might even say his soul grew darker.

"Old news!" This was when Gabez famously went mad with power and fired Pedgey from The SCUMM Bar. His reasoning? "You're old news!" The Mojo community was, apparently, a young man's game.

Historians will probably debate if this also was the start of a downward spiral where Gabez, fondly at the time referred to as "Gabzo", would hit rock-bottom. He would rebel not just against the community, but also LucasArts, a company he formerly had proclaimed to love "more than me mum."

In fact, Gabez did at this point become both image-conscious and paranoid.

And then... Nothing. One day Gabez was gone, and the community did not know what do with itself. An anonymous source, who fears retribution from Gabez's cartel, said:

Pausing, our source looked quietly off in the distance, smiling peacefully. "In our defence, we thought it was great fun."

Apparently Gabez did not. Soon he was nowhere to be seen on-line, and his fledging career with Mojo came to a standstill.

"We still love Gabez and whenever he wants to come back, we'll be waiting," muses our source before continuing, "It's only been 3 years, we're still holding out hope."

And much like the tide, Gabez does keep coming back, at least in small doses. Be it to review a game he has never played or just to reminisce about the brighter days, one can always trust that Gabez has an opinion.

Should this article be Mojo's last breath, its last moment of glory, we can at least all agree on one thing: Gabez was there, and he was responsible.

Who would have thought that back in 2001?