Spaff and the Gang Ream Attack of the Clones Page Three

Episode 2: Swordfish
- by Ginger James

With great effort, I had managed to avoid all hype for this film, and thank god I did, because if I went in to the cinema with expectations they would have been crushed.

“A long Time ago in a galaxy far far away”
...and then came the scrolling text, at this time shivers of excitement where pulsing through me. Little did I know that the weak shell of a story in the pre-amble scrolling text would hardly be built upon in the next two hours. Sadly, the final result is the second consecutive Star wars story that is little more than a frame for scenes of meaningless action.

I do not even want to get into the script or the acting, but I will get into two aspects of the film that disappointed me the most. The first of these relates to Lucas’s promise about Jar Jar, true he fulfilled it by seriously limiting his screen time (with one of few appearances justifying the animosity towards him, no doubt in an attempt to give the impression that they care about the fans). However to my anger he was replaced by a countless number of other CGI characters and a horde of poor jokes, ripping it out of Star Wars itself, that would be much more suitable in Thumb Wars, Space Balls or the Holiday special.

Yes, there were funny bits in Episodes 4-6, but with the exception of the Ewoks, they were things that someone living in that time and place would find funny, not jokes that highlighted the fact that you are watching fiction. Did Lucas think the reason why so many of us hated Jar Jar was his voice, well it wasn’t, it was because he made a mockery of all that we held so dear, and it has been done again.

Mesir not'um impressedah
I’ve already touched on my second big qualm with AOTC, the lack of a story and a decent enemy. The action scenes may look better than those in the original films, but you didn’t care what happened in them, it could hardly be compared to Obi Wan gallantly laying down his life, or Luke drawing fromthe dark side to overpower Vadar.

The story does not have the power or the magic to encapsulate the viewer, this impedes the action scenes (which were good even if meaningless) and failed to make the impact they should have done. As for Dooku , he was just thrown in there to make up the numbers of the Sith. I could go on for longer about the problems such as inconsistencies in the story, stealing of lines from other episodes and the many other flaws but there is not time for that.

Don’t completely despair, of those people I have talked whom I didn’t watch the film with, not one of them shares my views, however, I don’t know them well enough (except the Kenty who is ***) to hold their opinions in high esteem. I, Spaff, Bob, Si and Nick were all disappointed with it, and I feel hurt. George please don’t do this again, if it turns out that you can’t write and the originals were lucky, abdicate, for the good of that galaxy far far away (do what Palpatine would not, give up the power for the greater good)

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