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Schafer a Baby Killer? 14 Feb, 2003 / Comments: 8


Anti-murder groups across the globe such as Amnesty International and the BBC cried out in outrage today at the latest update on Double Fine Action News.

The update, featuring new art by Double Fine owner, Tim Schafer, was described by the man himself as "an attempted suicide by our mascot" after being disgraced in a recent vote for it being on the back of the California state quarter. However, US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld considers it to be a direct threat to the prosperity of the country and has officially raised the threat level to Red, or danger clear and imminent. A search for Tim has begun, and Rumsfeld is certain that he is "Either in the US, another country, or dead."

We'll have more as it develops.
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8 Comments

  • iisaac on 20 Feb, 2003, 12:42…
    In other news: read the fine print.

    A much more distressing yet unrelated case, is the loss of the password for my e-mail account. Password, I want you to know I miss you.
  • Kingzjester on 15 Feb, 2003, 13:36…
    Dude, what the hell?! You're stealing my shtick!!!
  • Jake on 15 Feb, 2003, 11:09…
    Babies killing babies. Tut tut. (This is Sarah, btw.)
  • JBRAA on 15 Feb, 2003, 06:11…
    bah
  • QueZTone on 15 Feb, 2003, 03:27…
    lol :) good to see that you guys can write as much funny nonsense as Tim can :D
  • black_sheep on 15 Feb, 2003, 00:26…
    is it???!?!?!?!
  • 8t88 on 15 Feb, 2003, 00:01…
    Is this for real?

    wtf?!
  • Marek on 15 Feb, 2003, 06:54…
    Uncomfirmed, but highly plausible!

    Here's what Tim said in an old interview:

    Did playing Doom ever make you want to kill anybody?
    Yes, but after I killed them, the feeling went away.

    SEE! TIM SCHAFER IS A COLD-BLOODED KILLER!