The International House of Mojo

Back when LucasArts was awesome, they sold hint books for their adventure games that were much more than just a cheap quick-path walkthrough. The booklets included all kinds of fun foolishness, among it a creative walkthrough in the form of a first person account by the game's main character. Here is the one from the Maniac Mansion hint book, called "A Tour of Maniac Mansion," in which one of the possible solutions for the game is (mostly) detailed in the form of a narration by Dave Miller. (If you're looking for a more complete walkthrough or one for a different solution, I once again recommend this excellent fan resource.) Enjoy!

Maniac Mansion is my sort of place. Plenty of mysteries, secrets, chills and chuckles. Funny people, weird people, and people that aren't people. All this – and a chance to save the world from a fate worse than daytime TV. Big fun. I'm going to lead you on a guided tour of the Mansion and its inhabitants. If you take the full tour, you'll discover one of the five solutions to the game. If you tag along for part of the tour, you'll still learn a lot. But before we leave, a couple of suggestions. Save the game frequently, so you can retrace your steps easily. Use the pause key (space bar) whenever you need time to think. And be sure to get well acquainted with Wendy, Jeff, Razor, Syd, Michael, and Bernard – each has a unique personality and something special to contribute.

SCENE ONE (Driveway & Front Porch)

By the way, I'm Dave Miller. Pleased to meet you. You're invited to join Michael, Bernard and me as we rescue Sandy from that creepy Dr. Fred. And just in case you think we're heroes or something, forget it. We're scared out of our shorts. Especially Bernard (which isn't a pretty sight).

I'm going first. Hmm... rusty old iron fence. Full moon. Night noises – do you think somebody's trying to warn me? Gotta stop thinking like that and go right up to the front door. Door's locked. Better not ring that bell. Ah... a thick door mat. Do you think it could be the old hidden key ploy? Sure could! Let's pick up the key and explore those bushes to the left of the steps. What's this – an old iron grate. And it's rusted solid into the wall. Look, a mailbox. Empty. Well, at least I know where to drop off a postcard to mom. Not much else of interest out here. No excuse for lingering. So, let's take the key, open the door, and head inside.

SCENE TWO (Foyer, Kitchen, Dungeon)

Pretty quiet, except for the ticking of that grandfather clock. Too darn quiet! Better call the reinforcements.

Michael shows up first. A real hero...he walks in and cowers behind me. Let's send him through that door to the left of the stairs. Ah, the kitchen.

Hmm...nasty noises. Somebody's cooking up big trouble in the kitchen. Bet'cha something awful just happened to poor Mike.

Here's Bernard. Let's send in another volunteer – that's you, Bernard. I'll just wait out here...

Oh, no! While I'm waiting, here comes this character (Weird Ed, as I later find out) who looks like he dried his hair in a microwave oven. He hauls me off to the dungeon. Well, now I know where Michael is.

Hey Mike, let's try to blow this pop stand!

SCENE THREE (Dining Room, Pantry, Foyer, Living Room)

Blissfully unaware of my little predicament, Bernard tools on through the kitchen and into a dining room we could have used for football practice. Pretty funky food, but Bernard grabs it anyway. Then he finds more – fruit drinks, this time – in the pantry.

Back he comes to the foyer, which is now deserted, of course. So Bernard heads off to find his pals. Forget the stairs, too much exertion. Try the door next to them. No handle. Hmm...

Well, the next door opens right up, and there's an old radio. With a new cassette player underneath. No tape, though. But a mondo vacuum tube in the radio. Just might come in handy.

Pressing on, Bernard opens the door at the other end of the room and finds himself in the dark.

SCENE FOUR (Library, Living Room, Foyer)

Must be a light here somewhere, mumbles Bernard. Aha! A lamp. That's better.

Funny though, everything seems to be broken in here. The stairs, the phone. Tools sure would come in handy! But look – a secret panel and ... a blank cassette tape.

Scurrying back to the cassette deck, Bernard notices something funny about the chandelier. Is that a key up there? Too busy to worry about it now. Gotta hear that tape.

Shucks! It's blank! Oh well, let's save it for later and head back to the foyer.

SCENE FIVE (Dungeon)

This dungeon chews old tennis shoes! Gotta get out...

Look – Michael found a loose brick. When you push it, the door opens. Of course, when you let go, the door slams shut.

Hey Mike, just hold that brick a second, and I'll slip on out.

SCENE SIX (Basement, Foyer)

Boy is it dark in here! Ow! Stubbed my toe.

Phew! There's the light switch, near the stairs. All sorts of neat gear in here. Particularly the silver key hanging next to the fuse box. Everybody's gotta have one.

Back upstairs. Bernard's so glad to see me that he trades all his drinks and the blank tape for the silver key. Better head upstairs before he changes his mind.

SCENE SEVEN (Painting Room, Music Room)

Hmm... these people have special rooms for everything. The music room has a lot of stuff that'll probably come in handy. They'll never miss it anyway, will they?

But the painting room is even better. Think I'll just hang on to that paint remover and wax fruit. It's bound to come in handy sooner or later.

Back in the corridor, I take a deep breath, brace myself, and pop open the door between those hideous portraits. If I had ancestors like that, I'd think twice about Darwin's theories...

SCENE EIGHT (Fred's Office, Arcade Room, Entry Two)

Another one of those long halls. And another stairway. Anybody around here ever hear of ranch style houses?

Let's try the first door. Ooh! Found one really terrific thing.

Into the next room. Looks like fun, but nothing seems to work. Got any spare change? Maybe somebody else does.

Onwards and upwards. Ugh – what's that? Hyperactive leg of squid, from the looks of it. Hungry, too. Won't let me pass.

SCENE NINE (Entry Two, Dark Room, Entry Three, Fred's Room)

Yuck! The Tentacle eats wax fruit. Washes it down with fruit juice. Must do something for him, 'cause he lets me through the door next to him.

Darkroom. The red light helps me check it out. Hmm...gotta remember this place for later. Time to climb some more stairs.

Somebody's bedroom. The radio doesn't seem to work - guess it's missing a tube. Maybe I'll fix it later. In the meantime, there's a dime on the floor. And a cleverly hidden ladder leading to...a mondo stereo set. Wish I'd brought my "Mangled Niece" tape. Oh, well.

On the way out, I notice that the Tentacle has an upset tummy. Slurp a little Pepto Bismol suckers. I'll just help myself to that yellow key. And to that record on the shelf. And I think I'll make my exit before he perks back up.

SCENE TEN (Edna's Room, Music Room, Ed's Room)

Sandy's behind one of these doors, and big trouble's behind some others. The second door in the hallway is in the second category. I see a key, a phone, and, ugh... you guessed it! Ball and chain time. Well, we both know what to do.

Back to the foyer for a quick powwow with Bernard. Then off to the music room to copy the Tentacle's record onto cassette tape. You may ask why. Don't.

SCENE ELEVEN (Ed's Room, Ted's Room)

Uh... hello. I see you have a piggy bank. Bet I could play a lot of video games by cracking it open. But I guess I'll have to wait, because it's off to the slammer again! I'll be a three time loser before long.

There's Bernard. Let's give him the cassette tape and the yellow key. Lean and mean, that's my motto. Especially with all those stairs to climb again.

Back on the fourth floor. Sweaty. Forget the first three doors. But the fourth...

SCENE TWELVE (Ted's Room, Bathroom, Den)

Say... this is my kind of pad. Body-building gear and all – gotta look my best for Sandy. Say, you really build up a sweat this way. Better wash up a bit in that bathroom.

Hey! The toiler just flushed, but I don't see anybody. Looking behind the shower curtain, I see why. Can't make too many friends in that outfit. No wonder he smells kinda ripe – shower's broken.

Still no Sandy. But one more room on this floor. Here goes nothing...

SCENE THIRTEEN (Den, Attic)

Peculiar house pets in this join. The carnivorous plant is especially creepy. No, you can't whisper in my ear!

Did I tell you that I'm a neat freak? Well, I am. So I'll just use my paint remover on that blotchy wall and... hey! A door.

And something else. Right above the plant is a passageway. Suppose I fed it something really nutritious (other than my left leg), and it grew so I could climb up... I'll check with Bernard, but later.

For now, through the painted door and, guess what? Right, more stairs. Dark ones. OK, here's the light switch. Hmm...an attic. Broken electrical wires. Another subject for Bernard. Better find him before one of the house pets does.

SCENE FOURTEEN (Pantry, Pool, Garage)

Bernard and I talk awhile, and he tells me about the pantry with the locked door. Now that we have a key or two, maybe...

Just before he unlocks the door, Bernard grabs a glass jar from the pantry shelf. Then we discover the swimming pool. Too bad I left my trunks at home!

Into the yard, and there's the garage. Heavy door. Phew! Good thing I worked out recently. Ugly car. Big locked trunk.

Well, we try a few keys and find some neat stuff inside. Bernard kind of stuff. Myself, I'm satisfied with that faucet handle on the shelf.

On the way back to the pool, I have an inspiration. Bernard, I say, you wait here. I'm going outside for a few minutes.

SCENE FIFTEEN (Under The House)

This Mansion is beginning to feel like home! I zip through the house and out the front door. With my newly developed muscles, I yank off the grate and slip into the sub-basement.

Smells like old socks down here. Ah, there's what I'm looking for. The drain valve for the pool. Here goes nothing...

Bernard! Jump into the pool and see what you can find. He does, but it's a lousy idea. Alarms go off everywhere. Let's get out of here!

Bernard barely escapes with a radio, a key, a jar of radioactive pool water, and his life. We meet in the foyer and Bernard has a great idea – feeding that meat-eating ficus something that'll really make it grow!

SCENE SIXTEEN (Den, Observatory)

Wow, was Bernard ever right. I pour the pool water into the pot, and the plant grows faster than the national debt. But not quite high enough. Maybe with a Pepsi chaser...

He's burping like a goat, but no matter. Up I climb, through the opening, and into the observatory.

SCENE SEVENTEEN (Observatory, Bathroom)

Great telescope. Wonder what color pajamas the neighbors wear. Just kidding.

Seems somebody is a tree freak. But I'd rather look at something more interesting. The buttons don't do anything. Oh, great...a coin slot.

I try the dime. It works, but not for very long. There's the corner of a house. Promising, but I need more loot. I hatch an ingenious plan.

To the bathroom!

SCENE EIGHTEEN (Bathroom, Entry Three)

I slip the handle onto the faucet and give it a pull. Aha, the mystery mummy moves. Now I can read Nurse Edna's phone number.

Am I crazy? Like a fox.

Out to the hallway, really hustling now. Bernard! Fix that phone. And call nurse Edna. Tell her that her refrigerator's running, and she better catch it...

SCENE NINETEEN (Library)

Bernard understands immediately. Off he heads for the library, but something tells him to try Tentacle's music in the cassette player.

Wow! Think what might have happened with my "Best of The Gruesome Grandmas" tape!

Anyway, Bernard wastes no time pocketing the rusty key. Then he uses his new tool kit to fix the phone. Finally, I hear him dialing that nasty nurse...

SCENE TWENTY (Edna's Room)

Edna answers, and I dash in to snatch the key. (Remember the key?) I was fast, but Edna was faster.

Hmm... what's this about a hamster? File it away for future reference, because I'm on my way to the slammer, again.

Hey, Mike. How's that brick pushing finger? Bet it's getting real strong.

Let's try the old phone ploy again. This time, I don't yell to Bernard until I'm right outside Edna's door.

Phone rings. I run. Grab the key. Dash up to the ladder. Safe!

SCENE TWENTY-ONE (Attic One)

Safe, but dark. Need some light. Found it. Hey, what's that strange painting. And who would put a painting like that against a wall like that...

Aha! The old safe-behind-the-painting ploy. Combination safe. Oh, well.

Down the ladder. Hello, Edna. Hello, Michael. Hello, loose brick. What's this about "Meteor Mess"? Sounds like a game worth playing.

Hey, Bernard. Let's pay a visit to our good buddy, Weird Ed.

SCENE TWENTY-TWO (Ed's Room)

Ol' human sacrifice Bernard. I call him. Into Ed's room and off to the dungeon. While Ed drags him downstairs, I slip into the room.

Just enough time to slip a dime out of the piggy bank. Close call.

Now, Ed's not too swift. So we pull exactly the same trick on him again. Got the hamster and the card he's chewing. But Ed gets us. And Bernard, and Michael, and I are reunited in jail!

This time, darn it, we're going to spring all three of us...

SCENE TWENTY-THREE (Dungeon, Basement, Den, Attic Two)

Three guys with six keys. One of them must open the dungeon door. And so it does.

While we're breaking out, we come up with a really complicated plan. It may even work.

Bernard, it's purple heart time again. Off to Edna's room. Off to jail. In I go. And up to the attic.

The combination works. I get a sealed envelope for my troubles. And Bernard's. I find a whole quarter inside. Goodbye poverty. Hello, Edna.

SCENE TWENTY-FOUR (Dungeon, Arcade Room)

Michael is beginning to feel at home in the dungeon, so we leave him there. Bernard and I head upstairs to the game room.

Meteor Mess, anyone? Kinda fun, but get a load of that high score. Could it be significant? Better jot it down somewhere.

Let's try Edna's key in the Meteor Mess coin box. Works. Got my quarter back. Sure was worth risking my life for...

Speaking of risking my life, where's Sandy? Remember Sandy? Better check with Bernard.

SCENE TWENTY-FIVE (Foyer, Dungeon)

Bernard, I say, let's go to jail again. But give me all your keys first. Of course, we still have to open this door with no knob. Maybe if you push the nearest gargoyle. The older secret-door-gargoyle ploy. Works every time.

I head through the dungeon door and lock it behind me. Let's try these keys on the "Sekrit Lab" door. It opens to reveal...another door. With a combination lock. Yipee.

Well, should I try the Meteor Mess high score? It ought to work, unless Fred has racked up a new high score.

The door creaks open. Cold air drifts in. I'm getting cold feet.

SCENE TWENTY-SIX (Living Room, Fred's Room, Front Porch)

Meanwhile, Bernard is using his noodle again. He puts two and two together – the tube from the living room radio and the empty socket in Dr. Fred's transmitter. Bingo.

Bernard checks the wanted poster, tunes in the transmitter, and calls the police. Better wait for them outside.

As Bernard paces anxiously, he notices a package by the mailbox. Hmm... this would have been pretty darn useful if we got our hands on it earlier.

Sirens. Vehicles. Cops.

SCENE TWENTY-SEVEN (Dungeon, Ready Room)

Tough cops. Efficient cops. But we still don't have Sandy.

Off go the cops. On go our thinking caps. Michael notices something shiny on the ground. Money? Keys? Cream of chromium soup?

No, better yet. A police badge.

Mike scoops up the badge and heads for the Sekrit Lab. I give him the card key, just in case. Plus some spending money.

Oh, no! It's the Purple Tentacle again. Michael decides to bluff his way through this one. He hands the Tentacle his badge and the Tentacle goes to pieces. Nice that somebody still respects authority.

One more door. Here goes...

SCENE TWENTY-EIGHT (Laboratory)

Seeing Sandy all tied up to that machine, I would have gone bonkers. But Mike is cool. He glides over to the drink machine and buys himself a Pepsi. Drinks it nice and slow, keeping an eye on Dr. Fred.

Now Fred, he isn't cool. He sets the timer on the machine. Poor Sandy! She's avoided heavy metal music all these years, and now she's about to get her brains blown out with something even worse!

But Michael, as I said, is cool. In a few seconds, he does what's necessary. Sandy's safe. Fred's grateful. Even the Tentacle digs what's happening. Want to know how he did it? C'mon, figure it out! I did.

One last thing...

OK, so you've seen one way to solve the puzzle of Maniac Mansion. There are four completely different ways. And thirteen different teams to do it with.

Use everyone's skills. Wendy types. Michael takes photos. Syd and Razor play some mean music. Jeff...well, he may have hidden talents.

As for Sandy, she has one great talent. It's for living happily ever after. With yours truly – as soon as I rescue her again.