Contest: Create the Ultimate Insult Page One

Well? Do you? If you think you have what it takes, and are prepared to step up to the challenge, then we will reward you.

Thanks to the generosity of LucasArts, we have 10 Copies of Escape from Monkey Island, signed by Mike Stemmle and Sean Clark, Project leaders for EMI, which you can WIN by entering this simple contest:

All you have to do is create THE ULTIMATE INSULT!!! (Note the 3 exclamation points.)

Achieving THE ULTIMATE INSULT!!! was your main quest in the 4th Monkey Island game, and if you've ever played any of the series, you will be familiar with the insult system. If you're not familiar with it, it goes like this:

First, you have your insult:
You fight like a dairy farmer!

And then, you have your comeback:
How appropriate, you fight like a cow!

The point being, of course, to beat your opponent with the comeback, thus winning the duel (sword fight, arm wrestle, etc).

All YOU have to do is create an insult, and a comeback so mind-blisteringly hilarious that it can impress the hardened and quite possibly twisted minds of the judges.
It's that simple! You can even tell us which pastime this insult would most likely be used for (Sword Fighting, Gin Rummy, Travel Scrabble, anything).

The entries will be judged by your friendly admin staff at, and by the project leaders of Escape From Monkey Island; Mike Stemmle and Sean Clark. We will choose the 10 best, and award them the signed games, which will then be shipped off (possibly) in time for Christmas.

The best one, or as I like to call it, THE ULTIMATE INSULT!!!, may well recieve some extra goodies!

So you've read all that. Here are the rules, terms, conditions and instructions:

- The insult must have both initial insult, and comeback.
- The insult should at least vaguely involve pirates.
- The insult must not contain any profanities, swearing, or any other offensive language. - The insult must not be directed at any one person or character, living or dead (etc), real or fictitious: eg; You smell as much as my mate John. (Unless slating the occasional celebrity, which is fine.)
- Entrants from outside the USA WILL be allowed to enter this contest.
- You can't win more than one copy!!
- The contest will run until Dec. 15th, and winners will be chosen shortly afterwards.

This is quite important: To enter the competition you must be signed up to My.Mixnmojo; your details are then stored so if you win, we can find you!
So, if you haven't already, you'll need to sign up.

"I've read all the blurb; I've signed up; take me to the form so I can WIN those games!"

Here are some more example insults by DJG (our resident insult machine) to whet your appetite:

- My opponents are petrified with fear as they stare into my eyes.
- With your looks, I'm sure they turned to stone.

- I am the most vicious pirate in all the Caribbean!
- Perhaps you're overdue for your next rabies shot.

- You'll be punished for challenging such an unbeatable foe!
- After looking at you, I thought I already was.

Best one saved for last:
- You're Ugly!
- You're Stupid!

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